Tuesday, 28 May 2013


What can be said about Lambrini that doesn't start with the phrase fucking disgusting.  All through my life I have lived close to this old school off licence that stocks the standard liver rotters especially designed to attract the trampagne Charlies that roam the nearby streets. On the bottom shelf of grim section sits great big bottles of Lambrini, every single one of them a reminder of the nausea that you could potentially secure if you bought one.  I have in desperation bought a two litre bottle of this filth and my god I regretted it.  The first glug at once sends this incredibly sweet taste into your mouth.  When I say sweet of course I mean saccharine sweet. The metallic tones of the drink forces the tongue into  a unnatural  curled up position which instantly activates your gag reflex.  If you wish to finish the bottle you will be dry retching all for around half an hour.  There of course is a solution to this taste nightmare and that is to stick a tube down your throat attached to a funnel, then poor the crap directly into your guts thus bypassing the taste all together. In summary 0 thumbs up out of 5.